Tiger Tales

Friday, Saturday, Sunday in Bangkok

FRIDAY

6PM Put on some comfy clothes and head to Cheap Charlie’s for a drink to cut through the post-flight fog. This bar-cum- social hub, a perennial favourite of locals and tourists alike, is a lot more crowded than it used to be (thanks, internet!) but it’s still a great – and strange – place to unwind. Wasp’s nests, cow skulls, foreign currency and X-rated statues decorate the outdoor counter. Order a Beer Lao and strike up a conversation with someone in the always- eclectic crowd.

7.30PM After the shenanigans at Cheap Charlie’s, keep the excitement going with a meal in one of the city’s liveliest areas. Grab a tuk-tuk or make the trip on foot. Either way, you need to turn right out of Soi 11, head down Sukhumvit past the near-endless rows of “Nikke” shoes and “Oakleey” sunglasses, and turn right into Soi 3/1. This hub of Bangkok’s African/Middle Eastern community is a beehive of activity. Grab a seat at Al Ferdoss for some of the best Lebanese food this side of Beirut – creamy hummus, tangy fatouche salad and fresh- baked, steering wheel-sized naan. After dinner, sit on the patio, share a sheesha (water pipe), and watch the world go by.

If you’re looking for familiar surroundings, head to Bully’s Pub. It’s easy to find – what with the giant iron bull statue out front – and offers as close to a genuine British pub vibe as you’re likely to find in Bangkok, with billiards tables, darts and plenty of televised sports. The menu is full of comfort food – the burgers and fish ’n’ chips are great – but try the corned-beef hash. For something completely different, duck into Sukhumvit Soi 4 to feast on fried delicacies like tuk ka tan (grasshopper) and jing reed (water cricket). Needless to say, you’ll want to keep a bottle of water handy.

9.30PM It’s back to Sukhumvit Soi 11 now and to Le Fenix Hotel. Take the lift to the roof and enter The Nest, a stylish but laid-back pit-stop, to digest your meal, down a swanky drink or three and even enjoy a Cuban cigar. Bangkok’s crowd of hip young things tends to stop by here before a wild night of clubbing, but not to worry – the music isn’t loud, the view is great and the décor is lush and comfortable.

11PM If you have the energy, head across the street to Q Bar, where Bangkok’s sexy, saucy and sassy go to dance and drink the night away. As you might expect, it’s a sonic temple of thumping bass. However, the second floor has a newly-renovated balcony and Grey Goose vodka bar where you can relax with a more chilled-out crowd. If you need a pick-me-up, set your sights on the espresso martini.

My perfect friday

After an evening session at Absolute Yoga followed by some pampering at The Lounge salon, I head down to Hyde & Seek for dinner and meet up with my posse. The boys at Flow Cocktail make sure our delicious drinks never run out.

We continue to wherever the awesome dudesweet crew is throwing their party and rock the dance floor to some good mashup music from the 90s.

The night ends at some late-night street food stand or else it’s on to a meetup with some more friends at Bed Supperclub. That is, if our energy levels are high enough for another round of dancing. Michele Waagaard, model/singer/ DJ/VJ

SATURDAY

9 AM Feeling energetic? Then book a half- day tour with Grasshopper Adventures. These cycling experts will get you kitted out and on a bike before leading you through some of the craziest, most off-the-beaten- path parts of the city. For a less active half-day foray into Bangkok’s lesser-known corners, head to the island of Ko Kret on the fringes of Bangkok. Home to two Mon villages and a vibrant pottery industry, it’s an interesting place to walk around or chillax with a beer next to the river. Getting there takes a bit of planning but it’s a great way to get away from the city noise for a few hours. A much less dramatic option is to simply spend a few hours in sprawling Lumpini Park, strolling, eating, reading a book or brushing up on your photography skills. Mornings see hordes of joggers and tai chi practitioners – not to mention some huge monitor lizards sunning themselves – while vendors serve up an endless variety of breakfast goodies on the periphery. Don’t miss the outdoor gym, where hulking dudes lift cement-filled buckets and truck tires to get pumped up.

1 PM Lunch time! Make your way by boat or taxi to Tha Chang Pier on the Chao Phraya River and eat at one of the many street stalls here. English signs are in short supply, but ask for mit pochana to dig into delicious beef noodles, or go to the shop on the corner called Aroi (it means “delicious”), which offers just about every Thai favourite plus some awesome Thai desserts.

After lunch, take a slow stroll down Maharat Road, better known as the Amulet Market. Rare Buddhist amulets are traded like Fabergé eggs in Asia and some can fetch millions of baht depending on how exciting their history has been. Watch as old gaffers examine specimens with loupes and haggle over prices while monks, university students and food vendors squeeze by. It’s not just amulets either – find everything from old eight-track tapes to false teeth.

2 PM A visit to Bangkok without a trip to The Grand Palace is unthinkable. Once home to Thailand’s much-revered royal family, it still looks pretty stellar for a complex that’s been sitting in the tropical sun for 229 years. Dress appropriately (no shorts, flip-flops or tank tops) and get your camera ready to capture some of the most gorgeous examples of art, architecture and statuary in the country.

Then, head to Wat Pho, just behind the Grand Palace. It’s steeped in history and is home to the famous 46m reclining Buddha. You can even have your tarot cards or palms read by the fortunetellers here. And since you’re in the neighbourhood, why not bone up on some Thai history at the Museum of Siam. Founded on the premise that museums do not have to be stuffy affairs, it is home to dozens of interactive exhibits that illustrate how a wee fishing village went on to become Bangkok, and how a cluster of disparate tribes eventually became Thailand.

6 PM It’s high time that you treated yourself to some downtime. Take a walk over to a dead-end little soi across from Wat Pho and climb the stairs… and up, and up… until you reach Amarosa. This cosy little joint boasts stunning views across the river towards Wat Arun, which makes it a great place to take a breather, sip a beverage and reflect on your busy day.

7.30 PM You may be a bit overwhelmed at all of the street-food stalls poking out of every nook and cranny in Bangkok – which ones to try? – but one of the best is the little slice of food heaven on Sukhumvit Soi 38. Popular options include bamee pet (egg noodles with duck), freshly-made fruit shakes and a dessert made with mango and sticky rice known as khao niow ma moo ang.

If tonight’s the night you live large when it comes to dining, head a bit deeper into the soi to Face. This dense, dimly-lit cluster of wooden, Thai-style houses offers three separate dining options – Thai, Japanese, and Indian – in truly gorgeous surrounds. The prices are up there, but it’s worth it for the service, the setting and the food.

If your dining preference is somewhere between the street and the sky, head across Sukhumvit into Soi Thong Lo and on to Soul Food Mahanakorn. Newly opened, it is making waves with its stiff drinks and unique dishes, most of which are prepared using ingredients made on the premises.

9 PM You’ve spent the day getting thoroughly acquainted with the ground and the water, now how about a taste of the sky? There’s no better view than at Sirocco, a super-swanky open-air bar on the 64th floor of State Tower. Like the temples, Sirocco is a bit sticky on the dress code, but it’s worth it. Descend the grand stairway towards the glowing neon bar that seems suspended above the city and try not to feel like a movie star. Sidle up to the edge of the glass railing and take in Bangkok in all its night-lit glory.

MY PERFECT SATURDAY

I love to start the day with an early-morning walk through Lumpini Park, stopping for oolong tea and a coddled egg at one of the outdoor food stalls. Then it’s across Rama IV Rd to Au Bon Pain to scan the local papers and down a latte. Towards noon I’ll head to Pan Road for a southern Thai meal at Taling Pling or a vegetarian thali at Anna Purna. In the afternoon I’ll catch a boat to Bang Luang, Thonburi, and hang out with Thai friends living there. After dark I’ll get a taxi to Krua Apsorn for sizzling mussels and wingbean salad, then head down to Adhere the 13th for a blues jam. Joe Cummings, travel author/actor/musician

THREE COOL HOTELS YOU MAY NOT HAVE HEARD OF

Bangkok has some great places to stay – from no-star dives to five-star palaces – but you don’t have to surround yourself with luxury to stay in a place that’s clean, unique and inexpensive.

THE ATLANTA This mainstay on Sukhumvit Soi 2 is almost comically curmudgeonly (check out the many signs warning against bringing girls back to your room)

THE MINI HOTEL Do you really need a huge room with a desk and balcony, or will you be happy with simply a small, clean room and a comfortable bed? Many people are, and The Mini Hotel on Soi Thong

SHANGHAI MANSION If there’s a colour not represented in the vibrant palette of this hotel’s interior, I don’t know what it is. Decorated in the style of a 1930s-era Chinese mansion, the hotel’s rich room décor and location in bustling Chinatown make it hard to beat. www.shanghaimansion.com

SUNDAY

9 AM Since you’ve ignored your mad shopping instincts so far (haven’t you?) it’s time to head to the mother of all outdoor markets – Chatuchak. Its 142,000m2 of stalls and shops sell everything from live monkeys to antiques to used cowboy boots to… well, let’s just say that if you can’t find it here then you can’t get it in Thailand. Bargain with a smile and you’ll be amazed at the deals you can find. Food stalls only barely outnumber foot-massage shops, so don’t be shy about making frequent pit- stops to eat or get your tootsies rubbed.

NOON After all that shopping and haggling, a trip down to Crepes & Co is just what you need to recharge. The gigantic meals here begin with breads, cheeses, fruit salads and juices, and are rounded out with pancakes, crêpes, cereal and more. Owner Serge makes the rounds to ensure that everything is up to snuff, which is a nice touch. To make the most of the experience, be sure to book ahead to grab a spot in the lovely garden.

2 PM You know what feels great after a huge meal? Doing nothing. And Thailand has you covered there. Move yourself over to Health Land Spa to take advantage of the magic of Thai massage. It’s a well-oiled machine here – no funny business – and you can get everything from facial massages to full-body herbal scrubs. And you know what feels better than a one-hour Thai massage? A two-hour Thai massage.

4 PM They say that after the rigours of a Thai massage your body needs an infusion of liquids, so while you’re in the neighbourhood, head over to Al Majlis Tea Room. The exquisite Moroccan-inspired rooms inside are beautiful, but order a few pots of mint tea (and a sheesha, natch) while luxuriating on a fluffy pillow seat in the expansive gardens and you’ll soon be about as relaxed as it’s possible to get this side of dreamland.

5.30 PM For your last few hours in Bangkok, head down to Benjasiri Park in the shade of the swanky Emporium Shopping Complex. Stroll into the back right corner of the grounds and take a seat to enjoy a display of one of most badass sports around – sepak takraw. Imagine Jackie Chan playing volleyball with his hands tied behind his back. You’ll need a fast shutter speed to catch the players as they flip and spin all over the court, spiking the wicker ball over the net with their feet. Unless you have a superb medical plan, it’s probably best not to join in the action.

BEST NIGHT MARKETS

The question comes up all the time: Where’s the night market? First, understand that there are dozens of night markets in the city, some big, some small. Here are the most popular ones:

Pat Pong The infamous red- light district is also a huge market that spills out onto Silom Road. It’s easy to access and always crowded.

Ratchada Night Bazaar This market at Lad Prao MRT Station specialises in retro and vintage gear, from records to clothes to scooters. It’s only open on Saturdays.

Saphan Phut Market Sprawled below the green Memorial Bridge, this market offers crazy deals on all kinds of funky clothes and assorted knickknacks. Not too many foreigners make it down here.

Flower Market Just around the corner from Saphan Phut Market is this huge, colourful market, which smells like a perfume factory and sells every flower you can think of – and some you can’t – for ridiculously low prices.

Sukhumvit Although it’s not a market per se, the stretch between Sukhumvit Soi 3 and Soi 15 is jammed with booths selling everything from knock-off bags to ninja throwing stars.

MY PERFECT SUNDAY

I usually head out to pick up some moo ping (barbecue pork on skewers) and sticky rice and return home to catch up on email and news. Then it’s off to Chatuchak Market for some second-hand book hunting and then next door to hire a bicycle for THB20/S$1 at the Suan Rot Fai (Train Museum Park) for a relaxing ride and then a quick dip in the outdoor swimming pool. After that it’s on to Central Ladprao for a few hours of shopping and some Korean bibimbap at the Gourmet Food Loft in the basement. To relax a bit, I head down to any of the numerous massage parlours at Siam Square, and then it’s off to Chinatown to meet some friends for a streetside seafood feast at the corner of Plaeng Nam Road. Just as I’m on my way home, the phone rings… change of plans – off to Sukhumvit Soi 11 to meet some friends. I don’t think I’ll make it home tonight… Stu Jay Raj, emcee/linguist/TV host

FOUR COMMON SPEED BUMPS TOURISTS DEAL WITH IN BANGKOK

Like any big city, Bangkok has its share of jerks who will try to take advantage of newbies. Despite repeated warnings, hundreds of people a day are taken in by one slick scam or another. These are the most popular:

1 Do you go home and stand on the street all day offering to help random strangers? No, and neither do Thais – unless there’s some money in it. It might seem rude, but if someone walks up to you and starts a conversation, best to just smile and keep walking.

2 Most tourist attractions are open from 9AM–5PM(ish). If someone tells you your destination is closed, they’re lying. See Rule No 1.

3 When haggling with a tuk-tuk driver or a taxi driver who won’t turn on the meter, use this as a benchmark: even a very long metered taxi ride within the city rarely breaks THB150 (S$6).

4 Don’t litter – hawk-eyed rent-a- cops are quick to pounce and demand a “fine”.

CONTACT BOOK

FRIDAY

- Cheap Charlie’s, Sukhumvit Soi 11/1, Khlong Toei Neua, tel: +66 (0)2 253 4648

- Al Ferdoss, 77/1-3 Sukhumvit Soi 3/1 (BTS Nana), tel: +66 (0)2 255 8200

- Bully’s Pub, Between Sukhumvit Soi 2 and Soi 4, tel: +66 (0)2 656 4609

- The Nest, 33/33 Sukhumvit Soi 11, Khlong Toei Neua, tel: +66 (0)2 255 0638

- Q Bar, 34 Sukhumvit Soi 11, Khlong Toei, tel: +66 (0)2 252 3274

SATURDAY

- Grasshopper Adventures, 57 Ratchadamnoen Klang Rd, tel: +66  
(0)2 280 0832

- Ko Kret, Take an orange flag river boat to the Nonthaburi Pier (N30, 90 min, THB20/S$1) and then hire a longtail boat from there (15 min) or simply take a taxi to Ko Kret (40 min, THB250/S$10)

- Lumpini Park, at the intersection of Rama IV Rd and Silom Rd

- Tha Chang Pier (N9), next to Thammasat University, Phra Chan Rd

- The Grand Palace, Na Phra Lan Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 224 1833

- Wat Pho, Chetuphon Rd, tel: +66  (0)2 222 0933

- Museum of Siam, 4 Sanamchai Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 225 2777

- Amarosa, Soi Pratu Nokyung, Maharat Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 221 9158

- Face, 29 Sukhumvit Soi 38, tel: +66  (0)2 713 6048

- Soul Food Mahanakorn, 56/10 Soi Thong Lo, tel: +66 (0)2 714 7708

- Sirocco, 1055 Silom Rd, tel: +66  (0)2 624 9555

SUNDAY

- Chatuchak Market, Mor Chit BTS Skytrain Station or Chatuchak Park MRT Station

- Crepes & Co, 18/1, Sukhumvit Soi 12, tel: +66 (0)2 653 3990

- Health Land Spa, 96/1 Sukhumvit Soi 63 (Ekamai), tel: +66 (0)2 392 2233

- Al Majlis Tea Room, 83/8 Ekamai Soi 12, tel: +66 (0)2 392 2345

- Benjasiri Park, Phrom Pong BTS Skytrain Station

MICHELE WAAGAARD’S FRIDAY

- Absolute Yoga, 4/F, Amarin Plaza, Ploenchit Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 252 4400

- The Lounge, K Village, 93, 95 Sukhumvit Soi 26, tel: +66 (0)2 665 6020

- Hyde & Seek, 65/1 Athenee Residence, Soi Ruamrudee, tel: +66  (0)2 168 5152

- Flow Cocktail, www.flowcocktail.com

- dudesweet, www.dudesweet.org

- Bed Supperclub, 26 Sukhumvit Soi 11, tel: +66 (0)2 651 3537

JOE CUMMINGS’ SATURDAY

- Lumpini Park, at the intersection of Rama IV Rd and Silom Rd

- Au Bon Pain, 1 Silom Rd, Zuellig Pharma Building, tel: +66 (0)2 235 5116

- Taling Pling, 60 Pan Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 234 4872

- Anna Purna, 50 Pan Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 635 2211

- Krua Apsorn, Near Samsen Soi 9, tel: +66 (0)2 668 8788

- Adhere the 13th, 13 Samsen Rd, tel: +66 (0)89 769 4613

STU JAY RAJ’S SUNDAY

- Chatuchak Market, Mor Chit BTS Skytrain Station or Chatuchak Park MRT Station

- Suan Rot Fai, Chatuchak Park MRT Station

- Central Ladprao, 1691 Phahonyothin Rd, tel: +66 (0)2 541 1111

- Siam Square, Siam Square BTS Skytrain Station

- Plaeng Nam Rd, corner of Yaowarat Rd, Chinatown’s main drag

THE MADNESS OF SONGKRAN

If you happen to be visiting Bangkok in the second week of April, you will no doubt be caught up in the craziness of Songkran, the Thai New Year. Essentially, the entire country shuts down for a week-long 65 million-person water fight. The bad news is that the celebrations may have a random, unpredictable effect on your itinerary. The good news is that you can still have plenty of fun.

The most important rule to remember is that you will get drenched. No matter what you wear, where you go, or what you’re carrying, you will have a huge amount of water thrown at you at some point during the day. Be prepared – wear sunglasses, put your cameras and phones in plastic bags, and forgo those leather Prada shoes you picked up in Paris. Most businesses associated with tourism – hotels, restaurants, transportation networks, malls, etc – will be unaffected, but many businesses close, so phone ahead.

If it’s a party you want, there are three main areas to head to: Silom Road, Khao San Road and lower- to mid- Sukhumvit Road. Be aware though that these areas are absolutely heaving with drinking, partying, soaking wet bodies of all ages and types (especially Khao San). In short: it may not be for everyone. However, if you’re suitably armed (water gun, sunglasses, Ziploc bags for money), then dive right in and enjoy the fun.